Another German banger I heard awhile ago:
“Ask me if I’m a schoolbus.”
“Are you a schoolbus?”
“No.”
So German humor is anti-meme?
it is post modern
german humor is no laughing matter
But is also the wurst.
Modern.
It’s so derived
I’m sitting on the train by myself and cackling. I don’t know why I find it so funny.
Found the German.
Hey now, the Germans take humour very seriously! It’s no laughing matter.
I think this forklift training video is pretty funny
Not Safe For Mental Health.
but safe for work fingerguns pew pew
it’s been a while. i can’t remember if SFK survives or not
Spoiler
No, he drives into the sunset without head
I first saw this video when getting my forklift license, lol. It being an official instruction video somehow makes it better.
So there are actually some German wartime jokes that are actually quite funny. Here’s some that I heard:
- " Where I live there’s now a lot of warehouses, there were houses and there were houses, and there were houses!"
- “How can you tell an optimist from a pessimist? The optimist is learning English and the pessimist is learning Russian.”
- One day at the barracks there was a soldier on his knees looking around the ground, picking up random papers he found and going “no, no that’s not it”. His officer asked what he was doing, “I’m looking for my special paper”. He sent him to the doctor and he was declared insane, when the doctor gave him his discharge papers he explained “ah, there’s my special paper!”
How would a German joke work based on english homonyms?
It’s just a coincidence that the same words are homonyms in English and German in this case: “Warehouses” = “Warenhäuser”, “There were houses” = “Dort waren Häuser”. You don’t even have to translate to colloquial German as the other comment suggests, a word-by-word translation works here.
You might like this (to be read aloud in French):
Un petit d’un petit
S’étonne aux Halles
Un petit d’un petit
Ah! degrés te fallent
Indolent qui ne sort cesse
Indolent qui ne se mène
Qu’importe un petit d’un petit
Tout Gai de Reguennes.
Wow ok that’s clever
This. I asked myself this and that and was amazed the joke worked in both languages.
I mean to be fair, English and German are in the same language family.
So are English and French. And English and Frysian. English is a moshpit of languages.
More a happy coincidence that it lines up.
Dutch is wild to hear or see because it feels like alternate universe English.
So I went and googled it out of curiosity, after remembering that German for was/were (in some form anyway) is ‘war’.
I found this in a thread about Downfall and a translated joke where someone was wondering what the original was:
The German pun uses ‘Warenhaus’ department store and “Da war 'n Haus” - “there was/used to be a house”.
hm thanks
Germans hate humor so much that hey renamed “The Simpsons” to “Die Simpsons!”. “Die Simpsons!”!!
Die Bart, Die!
Noone who speaks German can be an evil man. Parole granted!
English and German derive from a common root language, so I’d honestly be surprised if there weren’t some that do.
these are wunderbar
These are gold, thank you for posting
Knock knock
Who’s there?
WE ARE ZE ONES WHO ASK ZE QVESTIONS!
Protection from what? Ze Germans?
How many Germans does it take to change a lightbulb?
One, they are an efficient people and lack a strong sense of humor
Poor lighting is no laughing matter.
It really isn’t.
What? Do lightbulbs get stuck if you tell a joke?
You must be German
Probably partly. My last name is a German name, but I think we’re more Eastern European muts. I’ve never really gotten a clear answer.
Zero. Efficient germans use efficient LED.
LED bulbs still exist and are more efficient to use than LED fixtures where you have to change the entire lamp instead of a bulb!
In fact, I’ve got a room with six such fixtures and only one still works.
Right? I don’t understand how we got here (I mean, I kind of do, but still). I will refuse to buy non-socketed AIO lamps. Having them break and instead of opening the case and quickly changing out an LED bulb, having to replace the entire thing and screw new holes into the ceiling sounds like a complete nightmare.
The LED bulbs barely die. I am still using first gen bulbs i bought over a decade ago. I’ve only had 1 die on me so far. Versus the monthly replacement of some heat bulbs and always having a box of spares around.
Changing lightbulbs is kind of a thing from the past. Old fashioned fillament heat bulbs are hardly in use in Germany nowadays.
I’ve met many funny germans, and then 1 german guy who so perfectly fits the stereotype that I almost think its a bit in its own right.
Honestly I very much enjoy German humor, but I do understand why people don’t always get it, because it comes in two distinct styles with (imho) vastly different qualities:
-
Just plain silly (see: Otto Waalkes), can be good but it is often with such a heavy handed punchline that it just doesn’t feel funny anymore. This is the only time people recognize that a German tried to be funny and it often lands flat for people with a more refined sense of humor.
-
Irony and sarcasm, dark and extremely, extremely, sometimes unbearably dry. People who did not grow up with it will often not recognize that a joke has been made at all, because Germans are the kings of straight-face-delivery. This is where german humor hides its refinement and wit and since it’s often undetectable, people imagine we’re just not funny. But if you catch it, this shit is HILARIOUS.
Both kinds are rife with puns… I don’t know why, but Germans love puns and considering the very complicated nature of the german language this also often passes by unnoticed with non-native speakers.
People who don’t think Germans can be funny haven’t seen Loriot.
Yes! That’s a WAY better example than Otto.
The duck stays out!
I work with one guy who is a master of the second style to the extent that even other Germans don’t notice he’s joking.
That’s a common occurrence and since “you don’t explain jokes” sometimes in a group one person says something, one other person starts laughing uncontrollably and all the others just look on confused and will never get an explanation. It’s often a test of who pays attention, who you are on the same wavelength with and who has the wit to register the joke.
People getting each others jokes, while others don’t, is quite often the basis for lifelong friendships.
I don’t think this is a uniquely German thing.
Yeah, it’s a thing with germans, not a german thing.
The Germans we’ve met LOVE silly puns and plays on words.
One time I was playing in a German beer pong event, and one of our opposing teams was “ten inches soft” (in English). We all introduce ourselves (all in English), and one of the guys says to us “do you get it? It’s about the penis!” And we just died laughing.
It’s great honestly
See, thats why I think a lot of non-germans don’t get German humor, there isn’t a scenario where you say “10 inches soft” that isn’t a dick joke, so when the punchline comes around “haha it is about penis”, the recipient is confused thinking they missed the real punchline.
To be fair, we understood the joke ahead of time (and found it to be a bit “on the nose,”/direct compared to some of the jokes/names we’ve heard), but their insistence on explaining the joke (in English, to English speakers) somehow made it so much funnier
Which Germans have we met?
I don’t know, are you my teammate?
type 1 - fozzy
type 2 - Statler and Waldorf
I’m of German descent on both sides of my family and I can confirm the dry, and sometimes dark humor.
My dad would drop drive-by jokes that you might not get for a couple of days.
-
German jokes are the wurst
I think most English and Americans would be surprised to learn that large parts of Europe view Germans as uncultured and a bit trash. They dress poorly, can’t cook and would sell their mother for some quick cash. Austrians are just Germans except fatter and with a diaper fetish.
I have never heard those stereotypes about germany anywhere. Its a ragebait post so im not supprised.
Detected the French dude
I’m curious about that last part. Please elaborate.
I can’t confirm any of that except the cooking part. There’s a German restaurant near us, and the entire menu is various forms of Wurst - sausages. Apparently, their entire culinary range consists of hot dogs.
That’s simply a bad restaurant
Yes, a real German restaurant would also have a dozen styles of kraut to go with the hot dogs.
Maybe y’all should eat at a restaurant in Germany before you judge German cuisine. I’m not walking into a McDonalds and go “MMM, AMERICAN FOOD TASTES LIKE SHIT!” Fucking hell…
We’re just joking with ya there Germy.
To be fair, mcdonalds in the EU is not nearly the same as mcdonalds in the US.
It is somehow exponentially worse in the US.
McDonald’s is actually famous around the world because no matter where you walk into one, you get pretty much the same ‘quality’ of food. So USians love eating McDonald’s abroad.
I mostly see Brits/Australians and wealthier locals with small children at McDonalds, who travels to the other side of the planet to eat expensive poison, we have expensive poison at home.
Idk, it’s quite a regular trope in discussions on travelling that USian tourists don’t eat local cuisine and instead go to McD because they know what they’re getting.
You misspelled good
there’s a fantastic german restaurant like that near us. wurst served with amazing housemade kraut. imported beer. gluhwein in winter
If anybody in Europe can’t cook, it’s the Poles.
That’s a wild-ass take about the people who gave us pierogi and kielbasa. Bigos and golabki are pretty awesome too.
I mostly heard negative opinions about Dutch cuisine. Despite the popularity of stroopwafel lol
That’s a wild-ass take about the people who gave us pierogi and kielbasa. Bigos and golabki are pretty awesome too.
Is that supposed to be food?
And have you all forgot the British exist?
Is that supposed to be food?
I wonder what your definition of food is if these don’t fit it.
And have you all forgot the British exist?
The comment that started this discussion specifically mentions their assumed perspective.
I wonder what your definition of food is if these don’t fit it.
The point is that the words just sound like non-sense to anyone outside Poland.
Oh! I thought pierogi and kielbasa were better known internationally given their popularity in New York. Anyway, I’d recommend them!
Everywhere I’ve lived in the US you could get both at Walmart
Britain is the worst. They took over India to get the spices in order to create the most bland food in the world.
I’ve had very good food in NL but it’s pretty expensive compared with Germany
Doesn’t kielbasa just mean sausage in Polish? I think sausages existed before Poland. And dumplings are said to originate from China though I’m sure the Poles have their own creative variations of the filling.
Eastern-European food often can’t be attributed to any one country. Pierogi are identical to Ukrainian varenyky, and in case of meat dumplings also Russian pelmeni (borrowed from Komi and Udmurt cuisine). It’s hypothesized that dumplings originated in China and spread from there to Europe via the Silk Road trade, possibly via Turks; and to Siberia via Mongols.
Dutch cuisine primarily consists of deep fried food.
Specialities like the frikandel (german frikandel is very different), patat/friet oorlog, waterfiets, kroket, bamischijf, kaassoufle and fried bounty(the candybar). Or this wonderful Arabic/Dutch combination, de kapsalon.
Many people love these foods tho. Well regarded by most tourists.
A dutch restaurant is called a snackbar.
Anywhere north of the Alps, cuisine had to function as a means of enduring the long, cold winter. Hence a lot of it is hearty stodge, without the joie de vivre one finds closer to the Mediterranean.
If Bavaria is any better, its proximity to Italy may be of credit.
Been living in Bavaria for 2 years.
Bavarians can’t cook.
My trouble with Bavarian food is the flavor is entirely in the “savory” section. Would you like some buttered noodles? How about just a chicken that’s been wonderfully cooked but unspiced? A friend referred to it as the kid’s meal section at restaurants.
Wow, clearly someone who has never eaten Saure Zipfl, Saukopf or Presssack.
I’d like to throw the brits into the mix.
God please tag this nsfl. Have you even tried Bavarian food? At least Poland has good bakeries
Hohoho… somebody wants to start a new war. Never ever insult german bread.
But is this the average experience? Everyday meal? I think not. Mediterraneans have good everyday meals rest of Europe only for sundays. Tomatoes vs cabbage&potato.
Name something more German than wearing socks with Birkenstocks
Germany
Which is a style again.
oh gosh we were in a danish themed tourist town. my wife did that because of sunburn. were we going to start a war?
I’ve tried that, I find the socks make them too likely to slip when I walk. Don’t understand it.
(edit: correcting phone typos)
I have poor circulation (possibly Raynaud’s Disease) so sandals without extra insulation have been a painful prospecr for two decades.
For me, Birkenstocks slip a little bit no matter what. If I don’t wear socks, the rubbing eventually makes me bleed (usually just under the ankle). If I wear socks, that doesn’t happen.
I’m not sure why that happens to me and not to most people. Maybe my skin is too dry? But yeah. When I wore Birkenstocks, it was with socks. These days I just don’t wear sandals.
I can see that. My feet take a few days of careful husbanding before they develop the callouses for a new pair of sandals, and there’s gonna be some sore spots. It helps to stick a bandaid over the sore spots to give them a chance to toughen up.
I can well imagine that some people might take longer or develop blisters more easily, preventing the skin from getting to that point. Dry skin is a good hypothesis.
Socks are a totally decent option. If it’s not going to happen, don’t try to force it. /nod
German humor is no laughing matter.
That joke only works in German because “treffen” has two meanings: meet and hit.
Ah so kind of like “a man walks into a bar and says ouch”
Or like, “a man walks into a bar. It was a closed casket funeral.”
Yea same as “c’est l’histoire d’un gars qui rentre dans un café… et plouf”
I read that as it was gay (as in happy) until they walked in.
Thank you. I’d have spent ages thinking about how that could possibly be funny.
I’m pretty sure they’re just calling us gay.
Zwei Kamele sitzen im Keller und hacken Petroleum. Sagt das eine zum anderen: “Du, morgen ist Weihnachen!”. Sagt das andere: “Ich weiß, ich bin eh mit dem Fahrrad da.”
Sitzen zwei Kamele im Keller und stricken Benzin. Kommt ein Schraubenzieher, läuft ein mal den Türrahmen hoch und wieder herunter und verschwindet wieder. Fragt das eine Kamel: “Du, hast du dat geseh’n?” Sagt das andere Kamel: “Jau, der is öfter hier.”
Ich lerne noch Deutsch und kann den Witz zwar übersetzen aber ich verstehe er trotzdem nicht.
Edit: Grammar
There is a trope of nonsensically combining statements, e.g. “at night it’s colder than outside” (it’s called Alogismus - is alogism a proper english word?). It’s children humor, most of them find it funny somewhere between 6 and 14 yo.
This sentence is an example of that:
- camels don’t sit in basements
- you can’t chop kerosene
- Christmas has nothing to do with the fact that the camel traveled via bicycle
Ach so! ich verstehe jetzt. Yeah the cultural immersion is still a bit far in my German learning journey. Aber danke dir :)
Gerne! :-)
Hä?
Rollt ein Keks um die Ecke und fällt um. Was fehlt?
Tap for spoiler
Der Witz
Diese Art von Witzen die mit skurrilen Szenarien und Dialogen gearbeitet haben waren im Deutschsprachigen Raum in den 70ern angesagt - Ein bisschen vor meiner Zeit, aber man hat ja Eltern und Verwandte, und der hat sich in meiner Kindheit in mein Hirn gebrannt.
Yeah but what does it mean!? 😂
It’s somewhat of an antijoke. Translation would be:
Two camels are sitting in a cellar chopping petroleum. One of them says: “Tomorrow is Christmas, you know?”. The other one replies: “Yeah, I came here by bike anyways”
The whole joke is based on subverting expectations. You don’t expect camels sitting in a cellar, a liquid can’t be chopped, camels can’t speak (and wouldn’t care about christmas either), camels don’t ride bikes, and noone chooses a bike as a mode of travel especially in expectation of Christmas.
I personally never found it that funny, but my mother was laughing as if it were the funniest thing ever said.
Thanks! I’ll take it. I like surreal and it doesn’t land for me but I’m glad my attempts to translate weren’t butchered…
What are the odds ich_iel starts posting these to screw with people.
Two camels are sitting in the basement and are splitting [like e.g. with an axe] petroleum. One says to the other “Hey, it’s Christmas tomorrow!”. The other one answers" I know, I came here on my bike."
I did my best with that translation, but there are subtle hints that these things relate to each other, that would take way more words in English.
E.g. the “eh” widens the meaning to something along the lines of “It doesn’t matter because I already made the decision to come on my bike anyway”.
So I guess the joke is a bit that it’s the framework of a cohesive conversation, but it goes by so fast (3 quick sentences) that you kinda only realize that it was nonsense when it’s already over. It has dad joke vibes, too, only German jokes are more about unexpected content than puns.
Compare also (again doing my best on translation)
A ball rolls around the corner and tips over
Or the “poem” (cause it rhymes in german):
It was dark, the moon shone bright,
When a car drove lightning fast
Slooowly around the corner.
Inside people sat while standing,
Silently engrossed in conversation.
While a rabbit who was shot dead
Was ice skating on the sandbank.It wouldn’t make any sense when you translate it to English, I’m sorry.
Not that it makes sense in German XD
Of course.
German humor is usually not funny and a bit mean.
The Dutch have compensated for their neighbors with an over-developed sense of humor.
i have a dutch friend whose favorite joke is:
Person 1: knock knock
Person 2: who’s there
Person 1: interrupting cow
Person 2: interrupting cow who?
Person 1: …dammitmine is:
two pretzels were walking down the street. one was assaulted. pretzel.
(it’s funnier if you tell it in a silly voice)This whole thread is making me cry laugh
I don’t get either joke TT_TT
okay so thinking about jokes and getting them can make them funnier, having someone explain them always makes them worse. see below
the first one (edited for those unfamiliar with the format), we were trying to teach him knock knock jokes. because they are stupid. he loves the interrupting cow one, but what he loves even better is fucking up the interrupting cow one. and mine is a pun on salted pretzels but it’s REALLY BAD
German humor is fine, but much of german humor does not translate well, because it is often using puns, homophones, double entendrse or subversion of expectations, and you have to actively listen - just hearing without paying attention might result in not even realizing a joke was made. And I wouldn’t say it’s mean, but it is often dark and hitting where it really hurts regarding whatever goes wrong in society. I heard once that people start laughing if they can’t bear the pain anymore, and a lot of german humor fits this saying well.
what is belgian humor like?
Same as the rest of France
As far as we Flemish know, humor in Wallonia is non-existent
thats very dutch of the flemish and very french of the wallons
There are 2 pizzas in the oven.
Says the one pizza: “It is getting really warm in here!”
Then the other pizza says: “Eww! A talking pizza!”
Maybe you’ll recognize some of the titles on here.
Some puns inevitably get lost in translation, though.Tintin, Lucky Luke and Spirou et Fantasio will always remain some of my favorite funny comics.
Only Asterix is better.For non-funny comics though, everything Alan Moore reigns supreme.
Haven’t been there yet so I don’t know. I’ll go find out if you want to sponsor me.
I completely disagree. The people I meet in my daily life have a very healthy sense of humour, not mean at all. And in popular media? Look at Loriot, Sebastian Pufpaff, Hazel Brugger (sure, she’s Swiss, but hugely popular in Germany), Anke Engelke and Bastian Pastewka, Ladykracher in general…
How long have you lived in Germany?
