Blobby and Friends
For anyone confused and making “parenting is hard and parents do their best” apologetics in the comments, this comic portrays long term, systematic child abuse and survivors recognize it immediately. If a parent’s “best” involves abuse of any kind, it simply isn’t good enough, and no victim owes their abuser a single thing.
For any fellow survivors, I see you and it’s not your fault. They made choices when they raised you in a climate of terror, abuse, blame, and cruelty, you had no choice. Leave them to the natural consequences of their choices, your one wild life is your own, don’t let them take any more of it than they already have.
You can’t play football, it’s too dangerous!
You can’t take a martial arts class, it’s dangerous and too expensive!
You can’t get a drum kit, it’s too loud and too expensive!
You can’t have guitar lessons, it’s too expensive and too loud!
Never leave this neighborhood it’s too dangerous!
15 years later
Why do you sit inside all day!?! Get a hobby!
Boomers and Gen X were heavily conditioned by the wave of crimes and news of serial killers. So it’s understandable why they have been overprotective.
seriously my mom would tell us about all the rapes happening on the daily. wasn’t till I could comprehend basic statistics did I realize how many screws she had loose.
You can’t play football, it’s too dangerous!
Okay, but totally unironically, though. Full contact sports are terrible for kids.
Why do you sit inside all day!?! Get a hobby!
I might suggest that the biggest reason I sit inside all day is that it’s fucking 95° with 60% humidity. But also, screens are hypnotizing, especially for little kids. My son would absolutely lock in on Ms Racheal or Bluey for hours a day if I let him. But he also loves to kick his soccer ball and dunk his basketball in his little stand when the TV isn’t on. And I’m fine with that, because he’s not plowing face first into a kid twice his size. Or trying to back kick one of his friends across the room.
Also, I’ve never needed to buy my son a drum kit because everything is a drum kit to that kid. We can talk about a kit when he gets to middle school and shows he’s got the desire to practice, maintain the equipment, and not break anything when he loses his temper.
Oh no! My child might get hurt playing a game! Little Jhonnythan is far too valuable to be put in harms way no matter how much he’ll develop emotionally and intelligently by playing <Insert Sport Here>. I’m an amazing parent!
Football specifically is bad. Especially with helmets.
How is that more specifically bad vs any other sport with contact built into it, like baseball, basketball, hockey, soccer, lacrosse, rugby… Even more individual sports have incidents like curling and tennis.
Maybe your soft child might be good at golf? But they could strain leg muscles, pull a hip, should injuries are common among golfers…
My child might get hurt playing a game!
It’s not a game when the goal is to injure the other players. It’s functionally a combat sport.
I’ve played sports my whole life. Never has there ever been a sport where the goal is to “injure the other player”.
Your ignorance is showing. I’ve accidentally hurt others, and others have unintentionally hurt me. Shit happens. I’ve torn a muscle in my shoulder from a bad hit in hockey. I’ve also severely sprained my ankle walking to my driveway. If you want to bubble wrap your kids and protect them from all the harm in the world, enjoy raising a completely incompetent leech on society that is dependant on you their whole life.
I’ve played sports my whole life. Never has there ever been a sport where the goal is to “injure the other player”.
Boxing. MMA. In both of those,
concussingknocking out your opponent is a winThose aren’t team sports.
American reading comprehension is really at a historic low isn’t it.
At no point in your previous comment did you say the word “team”.
You really put your foot in your mouth with that one.
Never has there ever been a sport where the goal is to “injure the other player”.
Not sure if genuinely ignorant or just contrarian maxxing
I could ask the same thing.
Which team sport is designed around intentionally injuring the other players?
While full contact sports (and the associated CTE) are dangerous, there’s alternative combat sports that avoid it, like wrestling, judo, and jiu jitsu. Mainly grappling.
That being said, competitive olympic wresting is pretty toxic regarding weight and diet. Lots of extreme dieting to get in the wanted weight range for tournaments, which is terrible for teenagers. Plus, jiu jitsu is the dude-bro sport right now, so might want to avoid that too.
Mainly what I’m getting at is that judo is good if you think your kid might be into it
there’s alternative combat sports that avoid it, like wrestling, judo, and jiu jitsu.
There’s definitely alternatives to full-contact football that are lower-impact, especially wrt to the head. But I’ve got a friend who runs a jiu-jitsu gym and he’s constantly got wraps on something. Fingers are really common. Knees are bad, too. He nearly dislocated his shoulder after a bad throw. One of his friends managed to brain herself in the middle of a throw when she bounced her head off her partner’s hipbone and had to be treated for a concussion.
My sister and I did taekwondo as kids. Other than the occasional sparing (lots of pads, relatively light contact), it was all about flexibility and learning the forms. You still get injured overextending or balancing wrong. But it’s comparatively far better for kids than actual combat sports.
Like, if you’re old enough to make your own decisions, more power to you. But if you’re coming off Ninja Turtles as a 12-year-old, hell no. The combat sports are a recipe for getting wrecked.
judo is good if you think your kid might be into it
Of the three, it’s probably the best. I would still stick my kid in a karate-themed exercise class, if it came to that.
These can also get hella expensive, depending on who you’re training with and where. I can definitely understand a parent not being able to afford private lessons, much less the time to commute with practice. And the kid - not understanding the economic reality - deciding their parent is just being mean, or overprotective, or small-minded.
Full contact sports should be adapted to children to have no full contact. If it’s not the case, the teachers are morons, dangerous and probably criminals, and you should obviously not leave your kids there.
In fact, regarding full contact combat sports, even for adults training does not involve full contact to the head in most cases, only competitions and examinations may. There’s a lot of choice of schools and rulesets, so adults can choose whatever level of contact they are comfortable with.
That’s my monster boomer mother. Also include “while you live under MY roof… blah-blah”. I spent my early childhood not feeling like I had a home. I was just visiting her house. Nothing was mine. She of course forgets my father paid for that house and she got it for free in the divorce.
She’d also say to me “the world doesn’t owe you a living.” She only had a high school degree and a year as a “kelly girl”. That turned into a secretary job at a community college, which later turned into a better secretary job at a huge aerospace company. After a few years that paid more than enough to live and she got stocks and a pension out of the deal. Her aunt died and left her a fortune (none for me). She’s one of those boomers that did the bare minimum in life, sits on a pile of free cash, free house, retired early, and complains about people on welfare or “damn government handouts”. Meanwhile she has never contributed anything of value to society, never volunteers, never donates to charity. She’s a fucking leach.
Oh yeah. When parents got divorced, she got primary custody of me. She was so insane, I ended up moving to my fathers house when I was 10. My father continued to pay her child support to stop her from filing a complaint with the court about me living with him (He was chill and figured it was the easy way to deal with her). So add that to the list of free money to her.
Anyway, now she’s old, fat, stupid, with no friends and will die alone. I actually expect her to die in the house alone and they’ll find her weeks later after her cat has chewed out chunks of her. LOL. Good kitty.
This makes me feel bad for the cat.
That’s cheery.
Let’s hope you raise your own children the way you wish you had been raised.
That’s what I’m doing. The pain of my childhood will not be passed on as more generational trauma.
I had a similar childhood, and had minimal contact in the last 10-15 years of her life. My mom ended up homeless and would have died on the street if her brother wasn’t willing to take her in. It was my fault she ended up homeless, because I moved out and stopped being the parent in the relationship.
I never want my child to feel about me the way my mother made me feel about her, and I’m doing the hard work to make myself a better person and parent than what I was taught to be.
How old were you when you moved out?
It sucks because it’s like sitting there holding up a leaning pile of bricks, and you know as soon as you move it’s falling, but you only have 1 life and you deserve to spend it doing more than fixing other people’s mistakes.
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My parents gave as much as they could. I never thought it was enough when I was a kid. Now that I’m in my forties, I know just how much that was.
I come from work tired as fuck and I know my old man was the same way, but he still found time to take me to the playground and then taught me math and English every night. My mom did the exact same but there was always a lunch and a dinner cooked for my ungrateful ass.
Through it all, they always loved me and said they were proud of me.
Its good to know that there are still some doing it right (my sister and bil are the same. I’m a cool aunt, thank you very much)
Well I hate you with a bitter jealousy and so very many of the empty places in my heart. Whoever you are.
“From hell’s heart, I stab at thee. For hate’s sake I spit my last breath at thee…”
genesis intensifies
The entire rest of that section goes so much harder and is so much gayer.
Okay so my search wasn’t working, but here’s the full portion:
I turn my body from the sun. What ho, Tashtego! Let me hear thy hammer. Oh! ye three unsurrendered spires of mine; thou uncracked keel; and only god-bullied hull; thou firm deck, and Pole-pointed prow,—death-glorious ship! must he then perish, and without me? Am I cut off from the last fond pride of meanest shipwrecked captains? Oh, lonely death on lonely life! Oh, now I feel my topmost greatness lies in my topmost grief. Ho, ho! from all your furthest bounds, pour ye now in, ye bold billows of my whole foregone life, and top this one piled comber of my death! Towards thee I roll, thou all-destroying but unconquering whale; to the last I grapple with thee; from hellcs heart I stab at thee; for hate’s sake I spit my last breath at thee. Sink all coffins and all hearses to one common pool! And since neither can be mine, let me then tow to pieces, while still chasing thee, though tied to thee, thou damned whale! Thus, I give up the spear!
There’s a lot of archaic language and nautical terminology there, but its much more about grief and abandon and madness, it shows a weakness, a frenzied hopeless death drive as much or more than the determination and strength implied by the shorter quote the space-nazi shouts.
It’s not like I asked to be born, jeez. That’s like deciding to get a dog and then be surprised that it actually takes work to care of it.
That guy is NOT a teenager
It was in 1950
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It’s not like I asked to be born, jeez.
Should have cleared out of the line for someone who did.
bring it up with god or the universe, you’ll only get crickets here.
I think the Raised By Narcissists group needs more activity. This was my childhood fer shurr.
I’m in this comic and I don’t like it.
Cut toxic people out of your life. No matter who it is. Period.
Simple best rule for a happier life.
OK but what if you’re 6 and the toxic people are your parents?
Go into the world, learn a trade and make a man out of yourself. There’s no rule that says a steel worker, a deep sea welder or an HVAC repairman can’t be six. /s
Don’t let being six years old stop you from pulling yourself up by your bootstraps.
Hell, get a gym membership, work on your body and get on the dating apps. Be serious and straightforward with the women you meet. Show them the kindness and empathy your toxic parents didn’t show you. Maybe you’ll meet the right woman and together you can build a future. There’s no rule that says a six year old can’t start a family
When I was 6 I was already 7
Boo
Then you also haven’t read this and just have to survive it. I know that kids see those things as “normal”, even the worst kinds of abuse. As they usually lack diversified knowledge of alternatives or came to conclusion how they want to be treated.
For those my advice is worth less than nothing. It was more aimed at people who can read and COULD do that. I know many can’t or don’t dare to. Or not without help.
It’s part of what I voluntarily work in. A shelter-kind of people damaged or broken by other disgusting examples of this species. It’s the best one could do. Cut ties, start new. Or just cut ties.
Even if its parents. Or especially if they are the toxic ones. If you’re 6, others should take you out of there.
Get over it! You can talk, you can walk, you can eat and shit. It’s time to make a dime! /s
I once told my mother i didn’t owe her shit for getting drunk and horny on NYE (i’m an early sept baby)
…hilarity did not ensue
Likely Valentine’s Day conception here, and this rang a bell but for a different reason… When I was in my early 20s I was convinced all I needed to do to make it in the world was focusing on my music, which obviously involved copious drinking. At one point my mom lamented that I was going to turn out like my estranged biological father, because that was pretty much his MO. My response: “I mean… That’s what you get for fuckin’ an Irish guy?” Hopefully someone gets a laugh out of it, because she sure didn’t.
Gotta love it when one parent slags off the other. I mean like… they fucked them.
This is a great article on this topic
https://issendai.com/psychology/estrangement/when-the-missing-reasons-arent-missing/
Happy cake day.
The article just before that about the “missing missing reasons” hits just as hard. That whole site makes for an informative read for someone frustrated with dealing with their parents as an adult.
Imagine they bring you to this suffering planet against your will and then give you this bullshit. Wow just wow 🤩
Do any of us have a will to go against before we are made? If we have no will, can it be gone against?
“Without consent” would be a far more technically correct way to put it, and still convey most of the same emotional weight.
But worrying about the technicalities of communication instead of the intended message is all sizzle and no steak. Communication is about communicating; and the listening part is too.
“Without consent” would be a far more technically correct way to put it, and still convey most of the same emotional weight.
How is it any more “correct?”
What is the meaningful distinction between “will” and “consent”, here?
Whether a child “wants” to be born or not is a meaningless question, no matter which word you choose.
“Against your will” means you refused.
Same goes for consent. You have no ability to do anything before you exist, because there is no you, unless you believe in having a soul or attachment outside of our plane of existence.
But yes, at the root of it all: You may not have chosen to be here (or maybe you did and you just don’t remember and don’t like your experience now), but perhaps you can make the most of your short time present.
Welcome to Earth and try to enjoy the ride. Nothing seems to be permanent.
Consent is an action. You can do nothing while you don’t exist. (Usually not doing things is all you do while not existing.) You must be alive (or have been alive) to consent (or have consented).
“Against my will” requires you to have preferences to be ignored. This can’t happen before you have preferences.
That’s pretty much every narcissist’s view of having kids. That you owe them something for just making you exist.
Exactly, parents owe the children they bring into this world a safe and happy childhood, the child owes the parent nothing…nothing.
Is that a MAGA mom?
It reminds me of one I know. They just need the ”I brought you into this world, I can take you out" quote to make it complete.
No, just a bad mother. They can be either conservative or liberal. Don’t ask me how I know…
Lol, you think this is a team sports thing. It’s a resentful human thing, which is mostly just a human thing
Yes, is totally unreasonable to think that a selfish and short sighted person would be conservative.
/s
It’s totally unreasonable to assume conservatism is the exclusive domain of selfish and short-sighted people. A person who votes the same way as you can still be a mess personally.
NoT AlL cOnSeRvAtIvEs.
We’re talking patterns, not laws.
There are a lot of liberals who are only liberal because they find a sense of moral superiority from it. It lets them speak rudely to anyone they disagree with, because those are “bad people” so it’s not actually bad to be unkind to them.
That kind of self justification of cruelty is a lot of the attraction of most extremist movements, whether it be political, religious, or social. So many people want to be cruel but can’t bear to see themselves as a bad person, so we give ourselves excuses.
If anything, I said NoT AlL lIbErAlS…?
And which team do the resentful morons
get tricked intopick?I’ll give you two guesses, and the first one doesn’t count
I have yet to find a team without resentful morons on it. It may just be part of the human condition.
It’s easier to see the faults in those we already disagree with, and forgive those who are “on our side”. What’s an “unforgivable violation” is a “tragic forgivable character flaw” in someone you already support; “after all they are doing so much good”. You can see some really extreme versions of this line of thought recently.
Nazis are killing kids in cages. Actively, like today. Not sure if that moves the needle for you at all.
It does for me.
I take this kind of stuff seriously, but I don’t go all McCarthy on it.
No. My mother absolutely identifies as ANTIFA. Doesn’t mean that the cyclical familial abuse passed her or me by. I don’t treat kids this way, but I also had to do a lot to deprogram myself because of how I grew up. My mother still won’t go to therapy.
No, that’s just my mom. Not specifically MAGA fan, we’re not from USA. She just fans local wish.com maga variation.
Which is probably even worse as they literally copy US MAGA talking points without even localizing those.
“Children in Africa are dying, doesn’t this make you more grateful?” -No…
“Children in Africa are dying” is largely the product of the scam charities that would try to profit off endless advertisement reels of impoverishment abroad. Once Americans got so jaded, racist, and broke that sad African children wasn’t a cash cow anymore, we moved on to bombarding you with ads for dick pills, inflatable mattresses, and sports gambling.
“Children are starving in Africa, you should be grateful”
I’m cool with helping feed them. You wanna run this bowl of Mac and Cheese to Africa, or am I getting my bike?
Well,
Life expectancy in Africa got a lot better the past 3 decades.
Just angry at the world
This was legit part of my upbringing, a wtf head scratcher to this day.
Both of my grandfathers were horrible, and then largely absent. When each of them died, I managed a shrug and a mild bit of interest in learning more about them from their obituaries than they had ever shared with me over my entire life. My parents both show signs of generational trauma. They did their best with me, and I give them each passing grades, somewhat elevated by the fact that they got divorced when I don’t remember, rather than sticking it out in a malfunctional marriage and no doubt allowing me to get caught in the crossfire. Even for all of that, I recognize in myself some of the echoes of what was done to them. I’ve done therapy and I’ve resolved to make sure my kid knows that, even if we sometimes argue or have to tell her things she doesn’t want to hear, that no matter what we’ll always love and cherish her.
Try to live your life in such a way that, when you die, the people you leave behind can manage more of an emotional reaction than a shrug and moving on with their day.
Unfortunately some people are like that.
Not some - a lot.
So many LGBTQIA folk have a story.
yep
