I experienced the cruelty and bullying so much that I started to think every comment was.
I still think a lot were. But going past school kids now I am double the age on my way to work and still hearing some similar things, I think some of them might just be stupid.
A recent one was “your wheel is going round!”… I am on a bike. Wtf does that even mean? Like… That is how bikes work?
But I am in my early 30s now and the kid was probably 14. It doesn’t feel quite like the same bullying I felt at school. There was definitely directed bullying too. Like being called gay, virgin, loser… But the dumber comments by other people, I don’t know what to make of that now.
Causality is still a thing so there is a reason but it’s probably not going to be surface level or honestly worthwhile enough to understand. Some people are sociopaths, psychopaths, narcissists, some were abused, some were never taught empathy and compassion or developed it themselves for whatever reason, the list goes on and on.
I’m feeling that RIGHT NOW!
My family is on vacation with my mother-in-law (MIL) and my nieces from out of the country. The original plan was for them to spend a week with us, and then stay with my MIL and her husband (J for JERK) in Florida to visit Disney World. MIL is the neices grandma
Well… MIL fell and BROKE BOTH of her ARMS!!
She cannot move her arms so requires 24/7 care which my partner is providing.
On a call MIL had with J, they’re discussing how the new plans are for them all to stay up here with us longer and will only spend a few days in Florida. J says to send them down now and that he’s fine to handle it (this guy has ZERO empathy).
MIL says “but they’ll want to go shopping”.
J: “How hard is that, I drop them off and then pick them back up when they say they’re done. Oldest niece is 22, she can probably drive herself”. She’s from Europe and doesn’t drive.
MIL: “What about Disney world?”
J: “Well that’s not happening now.”
MIL: “WHat?!”
J: “Well the deal was that you and I would see a presentation and we would get free tickets. Since you’re not coming now, I have to cancel”
This guy is a multi-millionaire but is so beyond stingy he will STEAL FOOD from hotels that he’s not even staying at.
And then when J tells MIL he’s going to keep his plans to leave the state in a couple weeks, MIL starts begging J that he cancel his trip because MIL needs him to take care of her saying she’s ALWAYS there for him, and J needs to be for her now. With tears in her eyes begging J, he says “Nope. I’m leaving the state like I planned to attend a GOLF OUTING and give a speech at a funeral for a friend”.
Fucking vile bastard of a rancid maggot-riddled trash bag! I cannot fathom how someone can be so evil.
Multimillionaire, no empathy, story checks out. There are a lot of trauma backgrounds and cognitive disorders that create people with little to no empathy. Even more unfortunately if they become successful they will tend to view their condition as a benefit. It’s usually not until they’re old and alone where they begin to notice being disagreeable to others was a bad move.
I would rather be poor and loved by many than rich and alone.
Although either would be an improvement.
Do not attribute to malice that which can be adequately described through ignorance.
Also, VPN’s are like a condom for the internet. Quit blocking them.
I dunno. I think there is usually a reason, it’s just usually not you :) Not many are born selfishly evil, they’re thrust into it.
Some arguments could me made that if they lean into it they’re more evil… In the end, I feel bad for them, but I’m also not going to give them an inch because of it.
A large majority of everyday cruelty occurs because capitalism, a system based on exploitation, encourages it. Being greedy, cruel and self-centered is the most assured path to accruing fat stacks of cash. And once people take that path to get rich, they use their wealth to propagandize everyone else into thinking it’s actually moral to be solely concerned with yourself, which leads to all kinds of everyday cruelty.
This happens for dumb too lol
Sadism.
Yeah.
Hard to get ones head around.
Ultimately it’s a kind of stupidity or foolishness.
The psychology of narcissism (and “cluster b” / dark triad / dark tetrad, etc), should be a class availed and encouraged for all neurodivergent people. … All people really. But especially us.
I understand it very well, and despise it. I think sadists should be isolated to rule other sadists, so they can make an example of themselves.
Yeah, my brain can’t fathom how one cannot distinguish between “your” and “you’re”.
🤣
My brain just autocorrects wherever I read either
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I accept that I can’t understand everything all the time, especially other people and there’s actually nothing autistic about that. However there ALWAYS a reason, and it almost always has nothing to do with me. No one does things “for no reason”. They weren’t cruel for no reason, hurt people hurt people, I don’t condone it but I’m also not going to try to reverse engineer someone else’s mind because it’s impossible, idk what trauma they’ve experienced or the context of their current lives and my time here is valuable, I’m not going to waste it on someone who’s been cruel to me.
I used to fall into this trap until I realized it’s a fools errand and my autistic brain thinks running fool’s errands is illogical.
One can be simply be cruel due to thoughtlessness. This is arguably still a reason, but there’s no intent to do something harmful.
I don’t think this excuses it, but there’s also not really anything to “reverse engineer” in the thoughts behind it.
I think we assume cruelty, or stupidity, until proven otherwise but hey maybe im fucked.
Man the broken grammar and spelling makes this annoying to read.
I see one mistake, otherwise reads fine to me
A) people on the spectrum can be cruel “for no reason”
B) “no reason” actually means “a reason I don’t consider as valid” not that I am saying that cruelty is justified, just that people will have their reasons, even if they are simple as “i was bored”
C) NT people don’t instantly accept cruelty as normal and go theough the same “why did this happen” experience
Yeah this infantilization is not helping anything.
yeah there are evil asshole autistic people. no group is absent some evil pieces of shit. idk how they got that way but i know if they do have a sense of justice they only apply it to themselves.
I actually wonder if it’s easier for certain ND people to act in a way that night appear “evil” when really they’re missing emotional context and just maximising some technical thing they’re fixated on. Thinking of technocrats, consultants, techbros, and other minmaxers that will enact brutal efficiencies and be confused when people are upset with them idk
I have this very loose hypothesis based entirely on armchair diagnosing people at a distance that some people I label as fascists (while still being fascists) are ND folks who “just don’t get it” when it comes to people wanting “woke” things like community, diversity, reciprocity, squishy complicated relationships, bustling markets, and fifteen minute cities.
They’re more comfortable with clearly defined relationships based on power and transactional exchanges.
My opinion is also based on the fact that I’m like that, but spending enough time in tech made me realise I didn’t like the company. That is it’s better to suffer through the squishy stuff than seek comfort in a harder view of the world.
/ramble ramble ramble
I can’t see this as a blanket statement about how other’s actions are viewed. I can absolutely see people being cruel and a whole host of reasons why they might be, but I don’t understand why they don’t see that this is what they are doing and choose to not be that way.
