Autistic Trauma: What It Is and How to Help - Marcy Willard PhD
marcywillardphd.com
A new understanding of autistic trauma has emerged in the research. Dr. Tasha Oswald's presentation on autistic trauma at a recent conference provided invaluable insights into the often-overlooked experiences of autistic individuals. As a psychologist in the autism field, I was struck by her emphasis on moving beyond the medical model and embracing a neurodiversity-affirming approach. Here’s a look at the recent research on autistic trauma treatment, based on the important work of Dr. Oswald.

So I’ve been thinking about how unhinged I’ve been over the past several months around employment and society, and I’m wondering if I’m having a trauma reaction from all the bad times I’ve had with employment.

I’ve been fired from I’d say half the jobs I’ve ever had. In my chosen field and trained field, I have never once had a job I looked forward to going to. My last job experience was really, really, horrible, despite having an advanced degree and a language skill, I was kept making coffee because I didn’t cajole and get along with the power structure and made the mistake of publically criticizing.

It’s hard for me to even write about without getting upset, yet, if I want to make a living, I have to keep applying to these jobs for which I keep bombing the interview, for which, if I ever get the job, I will probably have to deal with unethical egotistical backstabbing morons every day until I get fired or rage quit (like the last job).

In the meantime, I can’t go to therapy, because therapy is the field I’m in and I’d estimate the percentage of therapists who can actually talk to me without immediately getting defensive is about 1%, which throws me back to the Daniel Mackler quote, “It is easier to become a good therapist than to find one,” which leads me here because I’m wondering what:

a) experiences y’all have had for autistic burnout and
b) anything you tried to help you through it and
c) any resources you’d find helpful.

I also think that I’m sour on employment specifically because it is basically the ony time I’m forced to interact with people on a regular basis, which makes me think autism might be the key to this current trauma. I’ve tried socializing in meetups and other venues, and it always fizzled, but it never ends horribly the way work does.

  • TerdFerguson@lemmy.ca
    3·
    6 days ago

    I read your post and this comment. I’m still not clear on what you found traumatic about the job… the social dynamic? You are describing the common experience of having autism and being in the work place.

    I’m not saying that you should or shouldn’t be traumatized by that, but setting your expectations and figuring out how to deal with those situations is an important responsibility. It will be pretty much everywhere you go, unless you run your own business.

    • schipelblorp@sh.itjust.worksOP
      5·
      6 days ago

      Are you saying that because it is a common experience it is therefore not traumatic?

      And I’m saying that it doesn’t matter what YOU think is a responsible way to approach it, the fact is that if I’m having a traumatic reaction, the responsible thing is to acknowledge and cope with that traumatic reaction.

      And the reality is that if I’m not have a trauma reaction when I’m thinking about jobs to apply for (or create), if I’m not having a traumatic reaction when I’m applying for jobs, and if I’m not having traumatic reactions when preparing or performing a job interview, I’m much more likely to GET that job, at which point I can start thinking about how to plan for it.

      And the other issue is that my field is not autistic-friendly at all, and it’s also a field where job performance means nothing relative to your ability to be a happy-maker for co-workers and supervisors, everything is subjective and easily gamed. So I’m really struggling if I have a future in this field at all, because I see them all as spineless cocksuckers, which is another traumatic reaction that is ultimately not helpful.

      • TerdFerguson@lemmy.ca
        1·
        6 days ago

        Are you saying that because it is a common experience it is therefore not traumatic?

        I’m not saying that you should or shouldn’t be traumatized by that (is what I said).

        The responsibility is taking charge of healing that trauma, if that’s the situation, and in becoming resilient to what sets you off. What I’m saying is, this is largely the way employment goes for autistic people and not really an issue of your field or workplace… at least where neurotypical leadership and social structures take shape.

        Seeing your coworkers as spineless cocksuckers is a judgment, not a trauma reaction. One that’s about making yourself feel better for being a social misfit… trust me, I understand this as someone who was also guilty of this same kind of thinking for way too long. I think you can do a lot to change your perspective and make things easier for yourself if you look inward.

        Just to be clear, it’s totally not fair that this is the way things are and that you’re given a shitty hand to work with… but focusing too much on that is going to help keep you stuck in this rut.

        • schipelblorp@sh.itjust.worksOP
          2·
          6 days ago

          We seem to be having a disconnect. I’m saying I need to take charge of the trauma, and you are telling me the same, so I’m not sure what you actually want me to do differently.

          Are you in a technical field where you can be judged objectively and in such a manner that you can stand out from your peers?

          Imagine you did not have that. Imagine that no matter how good a job you did or how hard you worked, no matter the education you had, no matter your certifications, that the only thing mattered is what your peers and supervisor thought of you socially?

          And also imagine that as a result of that, your opportunities will be zero. You can spend the rest of your life in this field and at this company and you will never get promoted. In five years, in eleven years, in twenty-three years, you will be doing the same thing, and getting paid the same (if not effectively less).

          Imagine you can of course find a different job, but the situation will be the same.

          And "“spineless cocksuckers” is a characterization based on observation. It’s not a flattering characterization, but it’s just as true as saying advancement is based on people-pleasing.

          • TerdFerguson@lemmy.ca
            1·
            5 days ago

            I’ve been in a lot of different fields of work, and yes, there are some where your exceptional capability to produce whatever needs to be produced can overcome the social circumstance (but that is very rare and doesn’t usually last, either).

            Our ideas on what taking charge of trauma is do seem to be quite different. The first thing I would recommend you do is try to accept that is more of a universal autism experience and not such a unique scenario to you. Maybe to some degree you’ve chosen work that invites it more than less, social challenges being fundamental to the disability and all, but at the end of the day this the ‘getting along with the neurotypicals’ problem that we all very much get to enjoy.

            Maybe your field needs a leader that is neurodiversity-positive. Why not you?

            • schipelblorp@sh.itjust.worksOP
              2·
              5 days ago

              Yes, I the thought-loop I’m stuck in is perfectly valid for the field I’m in. And being neurodivergent is only ONE of the problems with the field. The reality is I think the field as a whole does more harm than good, and I often think, in more extreme cases–like child welfare–that it’s like taking a job as a concentration camp guard so you can smuggle in bread for the prisoners. I think the system is wrong and harmful and there’s no way I can keep that to myself and the system will absolutely and ruthlessly punish me for that view even if I were King of the Water Cooler.

              I think there is no through, just out, to a different field.

              I’m thinking I need to get into a trade, a job where you do the job and go home, and maybe you get paid more than slinging credit card applications in retail, and where you generally get paid to work and not stand around passing the time.

              • TerdFerguson@lemmy.ca
                1·
                5 days ago

                Sure, out to another field is an option. Maybe that will be less socially challenging for you, maybe not.

                Fundamentally, whether or not painful social dynamics are traumatic to you will have to be resolved within yourself. It does not go away by going somewhere else unless you happen to get very lucky and find an ND-accepting culture. The tradie social world is full of its own norms and mores and assholes happy to punish you and limit your opportunities for not fitting in.

                I don’t really know much about you but, in this back and forth, I recognize an earlier version of myself. I hope you don’t take as long as I did to figure out how to handle this problem; being hyperbolic is being unreasonable and it works against your goals.

                • schipelblorp@sh.itjust.worksOP
                  2·
                  5 days ago

                  Oh, I see. You don’t like me being hyperbolic and black-and-white. Well, I don’t like it either and I also don’t find it helpful, and I’m categorizing it as a trauma response so I can recognize it as unhelpful and get a little distance from it.

                  And, yeah, I probably can’t get away from the allistics (and there’ll for sure be more Trumpistas), but at least I won’t have a moral objection to the actual work being performed. I mean, I’m sure I can find SOMETHING, but the reality is that the field I am has done me tremendous personal harm, so I have a very emotional reaction to observing or participating in that harm… so I think getting out to a more emotionally neutral field would be a step forward.