What I mean is people on the spectrum may face the treatment or discrimination equivalent to “Don’t excuse me for your autism!” when he or she’s having a meltdown dismissing it as “bad behavior” when it’s not. It becomes difficult from childhood if schools aren’t catered on accommodating this demographic, they’re considered normal physically but their outlook on life is different from their neurotypical counterparts.
Classroom teachers may not be trained to deal with such even if they’re told in advance, leading to mistaking meltdowns or being upset as “bad behavior” since it’s an additional challenge as opposed to teaching kids who are not Autistic. Some parents also tell their Autistic kid to “control your emotions” or “wipe those tears away” to avoid public humiliation (if kid causes a scene) including possible neurotypical onlookers & gossipers.
When kids have a tantrum at public settings (like malls or parks) or confined spaces (like inside a plane), this becomes taxing for parents on raising the kid while enduring awkward moments from onlookers who gossip “tell your child to shut up”. Having parents who understand is better than being ignorant even when informed, as parents who understand are likely to defend when their neurodivergent kid is being discriminated against.
There’s more info about Autistic kids than grown ups (what they fail to realize is that Autistic kids become adults over time, basically having to co-exist with it for the rest of their lives). Wearing a mask is temporary but not the permanent solution to the root cause of societal misunderstanding. Does it stem from the fact that physical ailments (crouches or wheelchairs) are visible in front of their eyes than neurodivergent people?
As in, they would not push someone on a wheelchair since that’s their method of mobility but feel fine on discriminating someone who is neurodivergent. They are not comparable in that sense, since a wheelchair bound person has a physical ailment while someone on the spectrum is able bodied. It could be that there are legal consequences for mistreating someone with a physical ailment versus a neurodivergent person.
We put them on edge the moment we’re in their space. This is why so many of us mask to blend in or my husband puts them off balance with an inappropriate joke and then wins them over with charm. They notice immediately. If you try to mask it, it will take hypervilligance because you have to change every bit of your body language and trailer or to whomever you’re talking to in order to put them at ease. This is incredibly mentally taxing and most people fail because they don’t have the trauma induced hypervilligance. A lot of us have significant trauma, some of which you’ve outlined here. Autistic kids are often very sensitive and it takes less to traumatize them than typical kids. An event may not seem overtly traumatizing and it will still traumatize neurodivergent children. To shame children, any children, about being able to control their emotions comes from a place of ignorance. Their brain is not developed enough in the best case to do this until well into adolescence. Neurodivergent children are also deficient in this region of the brain so they’re never going to be good at it. You can teach them to hide it but then they shame themselves into it and ruminate on it and before you know it, they have no self esteem and they’ve stuffed whatever is truly them under a mask. This will cause significant problems in adulthood and relationships. The science is new, people don’t know, I get that, but if you’re going to work with special needs kids you need to know, as a parent or a teacher.
Because neurotypicals are rarely understood by us.
It’s because we experience the world and interact with people in some fundamentally different ways. The frame of reference doesn’t exist for them to understand and that makes it even more challenging.
I will never understand what it is to ‘read the room’, as an experience, but I get the idea of what it means. This common skill, is considered very important to social interaction and rude if not observed… but to me it’s like a telepathic ability everyone else has and I don’t. I think that double-deficiency in perception and the expected behavior isn’t easily understood or even clearly observable by others. To them, I am behaving ignorantly.
Think about all the trouble regular people have in understanding two different perspectives on practically anything. It is a skill, and one that I think some autistic people are compelled to develop to have any chance of getting along… its just not so for everyone else.
I think it is hard for many people to accept that people experience the world in a different way than they do. It is also easier to believe in bad people and bad kids than to try and understand why they are behaving a certain way.
Sometimes I think people are angry they were forced to conform to social norms, so they are not open to a kinder way for others. If they could “behave”, these other people are just lazy!
I do think people with visible physical disabilities still have to deal with folks not understanding that means there are certain things they can’t do without support. Some people are really that hard to get to.
Yeah. Wheel chair users are a good example. If you can’t leave the wheel chair at all, then it’s acceptable. But if you have the ability to walk short periods without it’s all the sudden “you’re faking”.
Same with if you have some vision but your vision is heavily impaired. Or if you’re hard of hearing but only in a certain range.
We just don’t hear about it as often when people have physical disabilities.
It’s much easier to imagine/relate.
Somebody’s blind? Ok close your eyes, so that’s what that’s like. Somebody can’t walk well? A lot of people might have gotten a taste without even trying, by getting their leg in a cast while having an accident as a child.
Obviously that doesn’t encapsulate the whole experience of someone who can’t “switch it off” ever - but neurodiverse, you can’t really get a feel for it. Probably the same in both directions, by the way.
They misunderstand other neurotypicals too. There’s just more opportunity to misunderstand neurodivergents.
Then when a ND presents an unregulated emotional response typical for NTs of a much younger age, which, under the assumption they are NT, triggers the response of “bad parents failing to teach their kids”. And if they are informed, without training that doesn’t really do much. Especially in the low empathy world we’re living.
Yes, visibility makes a difference. Some corporations invest in training to avoid discrimination lawsuits against less visible disabilities, but you can see videos online of people being harassed for using disabled facilities because their disability doesn’t match their preconceptions.
The legal situation in the US is technically the same between physical and mental disabilitres, but I’ve never seen an HR department talk about accomodations for autism or any mental health issue; they are much, much more comfortable with physical disabilities which also have the benefit of being photographable to illustrate how progressive the company is.
As if autistic people dont do all of the behavior you are calling “neurotypical” discrimination
Jake Farm Neurotypical in scare quotes are an interesting move.
Also you know clicking on my name achieves the exact same thing.
Because I see the term as ill-defined and this post as infantilizing autistic people. Autistics are just as capable of being intolerant assholes.
Jake Farm Weirdly enough, no one was saying that NDs can’t be intolerant, so you’re coming across as just playing a game of whataboutism. So, I don’t get it. I don’t get what you’re trying to communicate.
I was point out the false dichotomy of us vs them.
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