Highly specific question, I know.
When people compliment me, I genuinely don’t know what to do. It feels like they’ve given me a physical object, and I’m just standing there holding it awkwardly, but I don’t know what to do with it.
Complements and praise does nothing for me emotionally, so I just say “thank you”; in the same way you thank a kid that handed you a rock they found on the ground.
Like, I appreciate the sentiment — as in, I know they’re trying to be nice or something, so it doesn’t bother me. It’s just one of many small things that makes social stuff a bit harder. For example, I probably don’t give out any complements to other people, because it doesn’t occur to me as an important thing to do. I’m sure this has many effects in my life I’m not aware of.
This might be gendered or I just don’t understand men, but I believe that when women are complimented by other women they are expected to say “Thanks!” or downplay the compliment just a little but in either case return the compliment. It can be considered a sign you don’t like someone if you don’t.
I do compliment people but when I notice something specific and I want to compliment them on it, so it was a bit hard to adapt to. Hair, new looking clothes or jewelry are typically safe bets. I avoid complementing someone’s body unless they are speaking about working out and even then I keep it vague, “You look so strong!”.
ETA: I can’t read, apparently. For praise a “thanks” or mentioning people who helped is generally what is expected. If you think people are expecting something else it’s probably that they are waiting to hear who you will give credit to or return the praise to them.
For example, if you do well on a presentation: “Thanks! I wouldn’t have been able to do it without X, they got me all the data and formatted it so nicely.”
Or if you do well at a competitive sport and the person complimenting you was your opponent: "Aw, thanks. You really gave me a run for my money. Where did you learn to [sport skill].
I guess it comes down to knowing if the person is looking for bonding (compliment them back), wanting to praise you but expecting humility (thanking the people who helped you) or feeling insecure (lost at sports or feels inadequate compared to your skills).
I find the only compliments dudes share are when you have the same ‘thing’ as them. Same shirt, same vehicle… same… no… nope. thats all of them.