wyldrstallyns

Gooned*

from the Olde English “guined” —an easy mix-up

Just think, after the systems-manufactured destitute addicts clean out the rare metals from those industrial pustules, the whole country’s houseless will have homes, right?

Right?

Nope. My brain doesn’t work that way. I couldn’t name a one.

Too smart to be happy, too dumb to con one’s way to riches, too poor to stop the cycle.

So close… Almost there… Unf, just a little more… All the way in… Yeah, wiggle it just like that, and… YES! YES, I AM! OHGODStheCHARGE! 🎉

Yes, and my reply is just as valid, but thank you. 😁

They always have been.

Eh. That’s debatable.

Grumpy, short, cishet white male throws tantrum again and suffers consequences that further support his whiny perspective that he’s being treated unfairly.

History enjoys a limerick.

There once was a man from London

Who fancied himself a Hollywood gunman.

With only a few lines and too many notes,

(Presumably scribbled while tickling his scrote)

He made sure that his one shot was undone.

Hardly.

Hot take: all religions are cults, and each one points the finger at others. 🖕🏼

No kings, no gods.

So, you… 🎵fell down as tiiired ball o’ fire🎵, then?

Did you say Wyld magic?! 🦄

But, what about the Sassoon hair?

Instant Death

Massive damage can kill you instantly. When damage reduces you to 0 hit points and there is damage remaining, you die if the remaining damage equals or exceeds your hit point maximum.

Per Ghosts of Saltmarsh, a ship roughly trolley size (though ~¼ its weight) does 25d10 bludgeoning when crashing, (considering a trolley approaching a track switch tends toward 10-15mph, ramming rules seemed excessive).

The party restrained on the tracks may or may not be immobilized as well, but regardless: 25d10 bludgeoning may very well one-shot each and every one of them instantly, and then some.

Ey. You leave those poor bastards alone. Nothing had found them irrepressibly delicious for millennia before the unwashed seamen splattered them across the rocks. Yay, humans. Skeet skeet.

Oh, also: yeah, fuck CBS. ✊🏼

Side note: you subconsciously pilfer for the proletariat? Sounds like a tough gig. Your ire is likely well-placed, and I support your low-altitude efforts. 🤘🏼

Something tells me that researcher wasn’t allowed to hold the staff and just decided to cover for lack of citable valuation spec. Or, the bearer at the time paid their academic fees, etc.

Either way, everything has a price, no matter if it’s for sale —especially to a D&D party. 😐 It may not manifest as commerce, but it will cost them.

The trick is getting said sovereign into glue form in the first place. That’s basically why the item’s so rare. They’re super wily, that way.

See? Now, I’m curious what other fun spells’d come outta flipping the word order of existent ones. 🤩

Like, would conjuring a Hand Mage call up a street magician?

Also, would Person Hold be a ritual hug spell?

Or, Cage Force grant a target incredible Con-Air hair?