Yeah, the Dallas i remember from growing up was a lot greener than what reality is showing me lately. Zeroscape lawns have taken over a good chunk of the richer neighborhoods. I guess when you piss $100 into the lawn every month, you start to see the appeal of having a massive Zen-garden.

Texan: First time?

As someone who spent a week in a mental hospital after my ‘attempt’, fuck you.

I usually turn my head one way and stage whisper the parentheticals.

The only thing I remembered about that commercial, is the number of tires changed in each shot…

When I was in high school, a girl passed me a note:

Are you gray?

Never forgot the spelling ;)

Emoji posts are instabans. Speak seriously if you want to be taken seriously.

And what fresh hell is yet another vibe coded patch gunna bring?

Greed

“Mother Superior, we’ve discovered a case of syphilis!”

“Oh wonderful! I was getting tired of the Chablis…”

The Fifth Element

Don’t even need to watch it ever again, it just plays on a loop in my mind.

“Huh, looks like we’re gonna need another 'Timmy '”…

The Baby from Babies Day Out

And added a shit ton of emojis to the announcement text. Thought i was on discord for a sec…

When i worked as a web developer, I could bang out HTML/PHP/JavaScript with my eyes closed…

Until, that dreaded moment where quantum uncertainty is destroyed by the simple act of a coworker glancing at my screen.

Suddenly, it’s like you gave a typewriter to a coked up parakeet, hunting and pecking with no regards over where the blinky text input thingie is, trying desperately to look like you know what you’re doing, but the harder you try, the clearer it becomes that you’re just an imposter! Pretending to know what you’re doing, but everyone can tell, just look at you!?

So, I have a couple therapy credits left on my health ‘benefits’ package, I think I’m gonna make an appointment… /rant

I just turned 41, fuck you for accuracy…

Same. Young and stupid, and I already had the Xbox…

Shut up Wesley!

Good show ol’ sport

Almost. Almost. Almost…

There we are…