Christmas 2002 and I am drunk in a bar somewhere in Abruzzo watching an Italian quiz show on the television. It was two fifty-something housewifish nanas vs ‘Matrix’ (his actual quiz show name) who was dressed in a black leather and sunglasses like Neo and the gang out of the movie. One of the kids in the bar (around eight or nine) was upset because Matrix apparently sucked at general knowledge. I still remember his little voice going ‘No! Matrix no!’ as the ‘you lose’ chime played and Matrix slouched off set to applause.

That shit was big for years. Good times.

‘Pipes’ from Ghostwatch. I was 11. First proper Halloween. I’d watched scary films before, like Silence of the Lambs and Poltergeist both of which scared the crap out of me but Pipes was on a completely different existential plane.

I had a lot going on with my parents, too much for a child to deal with tbh. That Halloween was my first proper going out trick or treating, the first and only one which actually felt like a halloween. Then I got home and got to watch a Halloween special with Craig Charles from Red Dwarf no less. I believed it was real and I freaked out, so instead of letting me watch the end they sent me to bed and I just kept waking up screaming. I remember them being so angry at me because I couldn’t settle.

For probably a year afterwards I used to lie terrified and alone for hours in the dark listening out for any noise and trying to be as quiet and as still as possible. I didn’t really get over it until I was about 13. When I rewatched it as an adult I realised it would have been so much better if they had just let me watch the end.

Aquaria as part of the humble bundle. It impressed me with its originality and scope from such a small team sixteen fucking years ago now.

Syndicate on the SNES we rented as an afterthought for a sleepover as it was three for two at the video shop. Stayed up till 2 AM playing it and my friend’s parents were pissed. I remember everyone was more excited about Wayne’s World the game, which we also picked up that night. But the only good part of that was watching Wayne’s big dumb spritey head jiggling about.

Can MAME roms count? Outfoxies has been a favourite melee brawler, Cadillacs and Dinosaurs for sidescrolling shoot-em-up. I always bundle them in with whatever mame build on whatever device if given a chance: “Got a four hour train journey? How 'bout some mame-game action?”

I’m not too good with IT kinda stuff, so I’m not sure if I can figure out how to do a partition. Unless it’s easier than I’ve been led to believe.

It’s easier than you’ve been led to believe and you totes can figure it out. The installer on the Virtual Desktop will pretty much automatically set up your partitioning for you. If you are using Mint it has a nice GUI partition wizard (with sliders) in the installer that is very specific about what will go where. Mint’s installer usually recognises if you are dual booting with Windows on the same drive (although its been a minute since I dual booted). The rest depends on how much space you have free on your drive.

You want to give your Linux desktop partition upwards of 60gb, depending on what you will be doing. 300gb at least if you plan on using steam + games. But only you can truly know! ;) If you back everything up then obs you won’t lose anything. Have fun and just go one step at a time and move as fast as your comfortable with. Hopefully you’ll be pleasantly surprised at how easy it is.

I feel like it’s not “my computer,” it feels like the most “Big Brother” operating system ever; it always feels like “something” is watching me or lurking in the background reporting back to some giant Microsoft data center on what I’m doing, what my files are, etc. It’s just this really creepy feeling. I feel “gross” when I use it.

You know what feels great? Not having that feeling. Not having the whispering chorus of surveillance like a fat fucking argus of paranoia weighing on your psyche while you attempt to use YOUR computer. Quite frankly how dare they fucking do that to you. MS wastes your time and agitates your conscience. Nowadays you really don’t need to know much about many Linux Distros before you use them, and the best way to know a bit more is to simply try.

I’m not techy enough and worried I’ll fail at switching over.

Considering how much technical workaround you have to do just to make 11 bearable, I strongly doubt this statement. Think of it in small steps: Download the version of WhateverOS you want (Mint is great). Put it on a USB. Try out the virtual Desktop without installing anything. See if you like it. Maybe a day later back up your files. I mean everyone should do that every now and again regardless of what OS you use, right?

Then try the Virtual Desktop again. Click the button that says install and just run through the process without intending to complete it. You can always back out. Have a look at how it partitions your drive. Consider how much space you might be willing to give it. You might not need much! Are you aware that you can read and access all your files on the Windows NTFS partition from your Linux partition? For myself way back when, this was a light bulb moment. Note some things you might wish to check out online, what certain terms and acronyms mean. When that is done run the installer again. Why not. Just for fun.

Thanks for the recommendation for Fried Barry, looks like a lot of fun. Much Appreciated! I haven’t watched anything out of South Africa for years. Not since Oats Studios which feels like a million years ago now.

Ah yes. The ‘Backlog’. I keep seeing films come up on Kodi or Jellfin that I would quite like to watch but there’s always a ‘but’. I don’t know quite when I started obsessively paying attention to exactly how long a film runs but probably somewhere around the same time I started asking myself: “Am I going to fall asleep after an hour?” and “Will I bother picking it up again tomorrow if I do?” Lee Cronin’s The Mummy almost fell by the wayside, saved only by the young woman playing the titular being (I thought) rather good (also is he trying for a Clive Barker thing or is just to avoid confusion with Tom Cruise’s The Mummy?)

Sometimes I even start films I know for a fact I am not going to watch just so I can sit there grumbling for fifteen minutes or so. In much the same way you might speculate over the existence of an especially egregious turd - “The size! the smell! Who would lay such a thing!?” The Bone Keeper is the most recent one I can remember the name of. Though there seems to be a recent glut of Loosely Lovecraft films that seem to be made of old dried up bits of Shoggoth shit.

I am quite enjoying Widow’s Bay though. Thirty five minutes, a monster of the week and it’s funny.

MadS looks good. I will dl it tonight. Haven’t seen the Toxic Avenger remake but I have it on the server, but tbh I’d probably rather rewatch Tromeo and Juliet. Some films have a magic to them and that film is a sputtering dark candle in a gutter o’erflowed with filth.

I recently rate The Surrender 2025, Bring Her Back 2024 (not just cos I have a thing for Sally Hawkins) and if you haven’t seen it When Evil Lurks from 2023. All scratched the horror itch.

Agree on the pointless Street Trash remake. Feels like ‘they’ have done that a lot recently, i.e. remake schlock and double down on the shit bits in some kind of ironic crapfest. Like with the new Anaconda film. Why not just remake something good instead of microwaving crap bc they got the IP for pennies.

Do you know I have had Funny Games on DVD for years and I haven’t watched it. I got so burned out by dark films that I have to ‘fall’ into watching them organically somehow. Like either they are on and I get pulled in or I have to creep up on them without quite realising/admitting they’re going to be a fucking brutal trip, or go see them at the cinema.

You sound like your a bit of a film buff as well. What have you watched recently that you rate or hate?

Pasolini’s Salo/120 Days of Sodom - Nobody ever regrets watching it.

Bad Boy Bubby - One of many grim Aussie films of that era. A classic.

The Warzone - Tim Roth’s directorial feature. Incestuous rape introducing Colin Farrell in his feature debut.

Drowning By Numbers/ A Zed and Two Noughts - Peter Greenaway shoots his films like renaissance paintings. Do you like lots and lots of snails on naked bodies? No? Tough. The Michael Nyman scores are terrific though.

You can pretty much take your pic with any of Lars Von Triers films. Breaking the Waves, Antichrist, Dogville etc.

Festen - which is Danish but NOT a Lars Von Trier film is probably the best Dogme 95 films of all. Including that fucking MAGAT Harmony Korine. Don’t know if this is that haunting but a good film anyway.

Come and See - Yes yes come and see! and in the vein of horrible WW2 films…

Salon Kitty - Tinto Brass before he went full porno.

Baise Moi - FUCK ME! No really that’s what its called.

Christiane F : Wir Kinder vom Bahnhof Zoo - Not a documentary but based on fact.

Reckon that should be enough. Happy viewing! LOL.

Long John Silver from Treasure Island. The OG and best anti-hero and heel turn of any character.

Miss Havisham from Great Expectations . An textbook example of how to do capricious rot.

Baby Jane played by Bette Davis from ‘Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?’. God I love Bette Davis.

Traitor General from the comic Rogue Trooper. Traitor General has been a wonderful bastard over the years.

Arthur ‘Cody’ Jarrett played by James Cagney from ‘White Heat’.

Clarence Bodicker played by Kurtwood Smith from ‘Robocop’. “Can you fly, Bobby?” 'Nuff said.

Daimyo Matsudaira Naritsugu played by Goro Inagaki in Takashi Miike’s ‘13 Assassins’. Perfect psychotic aristo upheld by corrupt flunkeys who has no real conception of the effects of his actions.

Prince Nuada played by one of the Bros twins from ‘Hellboy II’. So sympathetic. Team Prince Nuada all the way.

Syd played by Peter Mullan from ‘Children of Men’. Syd refers to himself in the third person (An actual sign of psychopathy) and does not care about anyone else, not even the first pregnant woman in a decade…

Begbie played by Robert Carlyle from ‘Trainspotting’. “Nae cunt leaves here til we find oot what cunt glassed yon lassie.” Never mind that he threw the glass.

Awesome. Pretty cool he likes ReBoot. Sounds like such a fun breakfast morning. I’ve been trying to do something similar but they’re like little media limpets at toddler age; sticking to one thing and one thing only and of course atm it’s become Mr Tumble (an irritating clown whose schtick is that they dress up and do makaton). So while the weather has been nice I’ve been shucking mine off the rock, so to speak and getting them in the garden. Hope you have fun. :)

It seems like you have a massive list already. So here’s a few more!

A few ones I enjoyed (mostly as a kid) which aren’t listed or mentioned:

Conan the Barbarian the Animated Series - very 90’s. I used to record it on VHS

Visionaries - Knights of the Magical Light. - Commissioned to help sell a toy line with holograms (all the rage in the 80s) Cartoon was pretty good quality for the time.

Pole Position- Ulysses 31 (currently seeding btw)- Jayce and the Wheeled Warriors - which are all French Japanese Cartoons scored by Shuky Levy who really encapsulates the sound of an 80’s after school cartoon for me. Even if the plot is a bit meh at times the intro music is absolutely cracking.

Around the World with Willy Fogg - Dogtanian and Three Muskahounds - Spanish Japanese production. Also great theme tunes!

ReBoot - (Ian Gibson who worked on 2000AD developed this. The CG might have aged a bit though! Kids cartoon but had some quite adult reference at the time)

Camp Lazlo - by creator of Rocko’s Modern Life

Whatever Happened to Robot Jones? - Short lived Cartoon Network offereing circa 2002.

No 70s Hanna Barbera? Short formats but I enjoyed Roger Ramjet, Batfink (both not Hanna Barbera) and Topcat (which is but was made in the 60’s.)

Mine I think, is younger than yours but absolutely adores Hey Duggee and Squirrel Club and they are very good with great music. Check out the Space or Music Video episodes in particular.

Massive Attack = Banksy. You heard it from me first. Or maybe you didn’t and you knew it already all along.