Happened to me the first several times I took edibles. I guess that’s a thing? I didn’t know, so I just figured I hadn’t had enough. I doubled it and still nothing. Figured if I literally felt nothing, it’s probably safe to double again. Still nothing. So I doubled it for a third time. I did think 40mg was probably too much, but this was try number four and I was wondering if it would ever work at all.

Oh it did.

I’ve never again been that absurdly high. But I was at home safe, amused by my own stupidity, and now it’s a fun memory. I guess technically I did handle it, so my i thinking wasn’t too far off. But I can get plenty high off 20 now. It just took a few tries to kick in.

Every single time I have an edible, there’s this moment where I think to myself, “I’m on the ride now. No getting off until it’s over.” It kinda helps because I’m acknowledging that feeling, but also reassuring myself that this will be fun, and even if it isn’t, it will end.

The OG trilogy was definitely best, but I think the later games suffered from the high expectations. They were still above average RPGs and even felt like Suikoden games, they just weren’t literally among the best of all time.

Tierkreis wasn’t to the level of even 4 or 5, but it was still fun for a spinoff. There’s also a fan translation available for the PSP one, which can be fun if you temper your expectations. It’s the least Suikoden feeling of all of them.

Konami definitely dropped the ball, but none of them were bad enough to kill the series, imo.

Yeah, it’s very maskable. And if you’re a late diagnosis, you’ve got pretty good masking skills. That’s why a true professional doesn’t just give you the test: they monitor you during the test to look for other signs. I was genuinely afraid of winding up at a place that just fobbed the entire diagnosis off on a computerized test. With good reason!

I mention my case because it was so hard to get the correct diagnosis, and I still only barely did. The system is really not designed to handle adults at all, let alone the more complicated ones. So I want to encourage people to trust themselves and their own experiences. The tests do get it wrong.

You have a number of similarities with me. I don’t struggle to understand or get along with people, but I’ve also done a lot of reading to learn about communication and relationships. I have many changing special interests, but each time I get a new one I hyperfocus on it for a while. Then the interest dies and I’m sad again until the spirit possesses me and I’m off to learn some new thing. I’m also very honest and usually can’t hold myself back from pointing out problems or making corrections.

I had to do specific research to find a local doctor who specialized in diagnosing ADHD. I was sick of doctors who’d judge in less than an hour, “you don’t seem like my ADHD patients so you don’t have it.” I told the specialist about those experiences and she made sure to do a very detailed analysis. If not for that, even she would have overlooked the ADHD (the autism is more obvious).

I’m gifted and also have CPTSD, so when you add that to being both autistic and ADHD, I just mask it too well. I passed for normal on the tests, but when the doctor looked closer, she did see enough evidence to make a strong case. The self and family questionnaires certainly suggested it, but she needed to find some more concrete evidence. By analyzing my test performance, she found a habitual pattern where I pass the tests, but right at the end of each I get careless and make a few mistakes that someone of my intelligence should really never make, let alone consistently. It was her assessment that I can mask through the test, but it takes enough effort that I’m exhausted by the end. So I let my guard down when the end is in sight and make dumb mistakes.

It’s no wonder it took until 42 to get the diagnosis.

I don’t expect it to change, so I’ve kinda made peace with it. I try to focus on other things and just enjoy the freedom of solitude.

I just don’t reach out. It’s a lonely solution and I can’t recommend it.

As a fellow autistic, I rarely even answer that question. Most people don’t really care or need an answer, so I just ignore it completely and change the topic. If I must answer, I’ll usually say something like, “I’m hanging in there.” It’s not pretending that everything is fine, but it’s got a sense of positivity to it. Like: I’m handling it and you don’t need to worry about me. That way it’s neither pretending, nor dragging down the mood.

Brought to you by overthinking this question for decades.

As someone who made the other decision, I’ve found most of the litrpg I’ve looked for on zlib. There are definitely a few that aren’t on there, though, and that number increases if you’re reading the latest stuff as it’s released. So depending on your reading habits, it could be plentiful or almost useless. It does work for me, though, and I’d rather donate to a patreon than give Amazon the money.

I think the line is so blurry as to not matter in most circumstances. If you’re grumpy or tense and use it to feel better, it may not be a necessity, but it still improves your quality of life the same as if you did the exact same thing with an antidepressant. When there are safe and effective ways to feel better, there’s no reason to suffer. Saying it’s not medicinal is the realm of insurance companies and puritans.

You can even make a good case for party usage being medicinal if it keeps your mood up and helps you be more social. The line that really matters is whether or not usage is responsible. As long as you can use responsibly, party on. The world sucks plenty, I’m not going to think twice about responsible users just trying to make their lives better.

I’ve heard of the crystals, but iirc there was some question if they’re really psilocybin. You can extract psilocybin into liquid, though. There’s reduced body load and little to no stomach issues or nausea. The method I used for making it is in one of the books by Virginia Haze and K Mandrake - I think the psilocybin chef cookbook, but not positive.

Basically, you soak the shrooms in everclear to get out as much of the psilocybin as you can, then let the everclear evaporate so you’re left with a tiny amount of very concentrated fluid. Just add 1ml to some juice and you’re on your way. Been a while since I did it and I screwed it up a little, but it was way more mellow than eating the raw shrooms while still being effective. I’ve still got the rest of the little vial I made in the freezer, for whenever I’m stable enough to handle it again.

I like and use Steam. I agree that their dominance is mostly due to the lack of quality competition. They haven’t done anything super shady or anti-consumer.

But don’t expect that to last. It’s a story that’s been repeated countless times now. We know how this goes. One day something will change - probably ownership - and the enshittification will begin.

That’s what DRM free is about. You are in control of your DRM free games even after the developer, publisher, and the store you bought it from have all gone to hell. They also run better years from now when old DRM schemes no longer play nice with OS changes. DRM free is extra insurance that you’ll always have that game and be able to play it.

Too bad I don’t have the hard drive space to store my entire library. One day I’m going to be very sad right alongside everybody else.

That is a very unkind thing for somebody to say to you and it’s not okay. You deserve somebody who will appreciate you for who you are and not resent you for who you’re not. Somebody who will see your effort and thank you for trying, lean on your strengths and make up for your weaknesses. Somebody who will treat you with kindness all the time, not just during the good times. Your struggles are valid and not a weapon to be wielded against you.

I also had an ex who said she was leaving because of my autism. It really hurt to hear, and I don’t think I’ll ever forget that pain. So I just want you to hear that you’re great the way you are. I’m sorry that somebody you care about said that to you, and I know how much that hurts even if you know deep down that they’re wrong. And they are wrong. The truth is they held themselves back, but want to blame it all on you. They agreed to care for you as a whole, not just part of you. They don’t get to blame you for changing their mind.

It has its moments of quiet exploration and somber reflection, but it’s nothing if not varied. It’s chill in that there’s no penalty for dying and indeed you’re literally forced to. But it’s still wild and exciting, and sometimes even terrifying.

While I was playing, I had someone ask me my favorite death and I knew my answer right away. That was one of the moments I realized my experience of the game had started to flip, because I had been enjoying even the parts I hated.

Better time control helps a bit too. You can wait at the fire before launch to get a better alignment for where you want to go or for a specific event. I think it was the tornado planet I tended to wait a short bit just so it lined up better? You can also end a loop early, but that you have to be taught. I don’t think it’s a spoiler to say, but if you do don’t finish this paragraph (not sure my app is doing spoiler tags right):

As for my favorite death: I was trying to land on the interloper but missed slightly and it flew right past me. I scrambled to change momentum and chase after it. It got farther and farther away but then slowly I started gaining on it again. I gained more speed and started leveling out after what felt like minutes of turning as hard as I could at max thrust. And then the sun appeared from off screen, like an angry father that just caught a misbehaving child. My punishment was immediate and thorough.

I couldn’t stop laughing for the entire loop animation. (and then I went to the interloper as planned)

It did for me too the first time I played. I’m very bad with time limits and feeling rushed. It was never going to be a good fit for me.

But a friend convinced me to try again and it did eventually get better. It’s a combination of things that’s hard to quantify. The log of hints/objectives in your ship is a huge help, as is making liberal use of the autopilot. Then as the game unfolded and drew me in, I couldn’t put it down. Now it’s one of the most unique and unforgettable experiences in my nearly 40 years of gaming.

It starts out as a bunch of random stuff to explore and it didn’t feel to me like there was much direction or even motivation. But the more I explored and learned, the more I started to ask certain questions. I’d find myself thinking I wanted to explore a place with something specific in mind. But it’s a gradual shift that builds and builds and keeps building like a book that you forced yourself to read one chapter a night. Then it’s two, and before you know it you’re keeping yourself up way too late reading until you’re left empty that there’s no more.

I only say this because you always hear about the people who adore Outer Wilds, and I wasn’t one. I utterly bounced off it and set it down for years. But I’m so glad my friend got me to try again. I want other people like me to know that you can still get into the game and end up loving it even if it didn’t click at first. It’s also okay if you don’t want to. But I have only heard one person ever say it wasn’t worth it, and it was someone who spoiled themselves.