Yeah, it was not the first time I saw that kind of emotional sadism from her, but it was the one that made me realize that she literally thought some people deserved to die for things they ultimately had little to no control over.

Thankfully my dad is a bit more levelheaded (though he still enabled her) and I have a lot of extended family who also can’t stand her. I credit them as being the main reason I didn’t end up continuing the abuse cycle.

Extremely. She and my dad were Catholic, and she was so right wing that she forced us to find a new church because our pastor said that we should treat non-Catholics and non-christians with respect because good works, not belief, is the key to salvation and the best form of worship.

For context: I had an uncle who was an alcoholic/addict, with his addiction being the result of immense trauma he suffered as a kid. He was fired from his job in the medical field after writing himself scripts, and made a genuine effort to turn his life around. He went to AA and other therapy, brought his sponsor/buddy to events where there would be alcohol, and generally took it seriously and worked to improve.

A few years later, we got a call in the early morning. He had overdosed and died after an argument with my aunt. It’s unclear whether it was a relapse or if the overdose was intentional, and to be honest it didn’t matter. My aunt was distraught, he was dead, and their kids now had no father. It was a horrific tragedy.

When I got up to ask what the phone call was for, my mother had a huge smile on her face. She thought his addiction was a moral failing that automatically made him a bad person, but she also judged him badly for needing AA and the buddy syatem to stay on track. She told us, with glee in her voice, that he had “finally killed himself”.

It took everything in my power to not lay into her, which I didn’t do only because I knew she would never change her mind. It was just the latest and worst example of her horrid behavior. I never told my aunt, but I did tell other members of my extended family when they asked why I didn’t talk to them anymore.

I am not sure why, but my one day sourdoughs were still sour to me, and they would usually get more sour as the days passed after baking. I think it is because I live in a humid area that also tends to be cooler, as climate does impact the taste.

I am glad you got it to work for you! But for me it is cheaper to buy the yeast in a large block and use that.

Making tofu from scratch. Also sourdough.

I love cooking in all forms, and there are a lot of things I happily do from scratch. I love baking bread, making my own oat milk, mixing up my own seitan from vital wheat gluten, and a whole bunch of other things.

But making tofu was something I tried a bunch of times and have ultimately given up on. It is extremely time consuming, very difficult to get right, and makes a worse product than what I can buy at the store. It isn’t even cheaper to do, as the cost of the soybeans and the cost of the premade tofu are about the same. I may make it on occasion if I plan on serving it on its own as a dish with soy sauce, but that is about it.

With sourdough, I found it easy to get into, but my husband and I both prefer our baked goods to be not sour, and we both have pretty sensitive tastebuds in that regard. It is easier for me to just use instant yeast whenever I need it and make something we both prefer to eat.

Surprised no one said the obvious one. The first one is from The Wizard of Oz, only fitting that we should sing a song from the the sequel: No One Mourns the Wicked. No One Mourns the Wicked

The biggest thing that I learned was that I had to redefine what my path to trauma recovery would look like. There are a lot of things that I do that I attributed to coping with trauma, but now I need to ask myself what I am trying to do and whether I should seek to stop doing those things.

For example, since that explanation is a bit convoluted: as a kid, I learned how to walk very quietly by walking on the balls of my feet, because it was useful for getting a snack from the pantry when I was refused dinner. But I also just like walking on my toes sometimes, and learning that this is common among people on the spectrum helped me accept that.

It also helped me look at my childhood and see how much of my trauma was a response to me struggling with that divergence. Having trouble managing emotions to the point of panic attacks at age 8 I can now recognize as autistic meltdown. There were many cases where I was labelled maliciously compliant to orders, and I now understand that it was because I was interpreting the command very literally, which is still something I struggle with as an adult.

I am technically subclinical, in that I got evaluated and was not given a diagnosis of autism/ASD. However, the guy doing my eval said “If thia were 10 years ago, I would give you a diagnosis of Aspergers, but that doesn’t exist anymore, so I can’t give you a diagnosis.”

It wasn’t until I talked to my therapist, who had referred me, that I realized that Aspergers doezn’t exist because it was rolled into ASD. Meaning I likely did qualify for a diagnosis. But the guy decided to say my symptoms were all due to my trauma, ignoring the fact that quite a bit of that trauma was the result of me having these traits and my parents labelling me a difficult child as a result.

I sought a diagnosis mostly because I have a lot of sensory issues and communication difficulty, and I had several diagnosed friends who said I was likely on the spectrum.

No Italian ricotta cheesecake? For shame!

I kid, but I seriously recommend people try it. Crust optional, filling is a combo of ricotta and marscapone cheese with butter and sour cream. Wonderful as-is, but even better with strawberry or raspberry sauce.

If you like Iron Chef and want something similar, but lower stakes, Gastronauts on Dropout is great. Different chefs and judges each episode, each judge creates a challenge for the chefs, and everyone has a ton of fun.

This also needs to apply for intersex infants. It is currently standard practice to try to surgically “correct” any infants that display intersex traits at birth, regardless if there is an actual medical necessity.

Of course, this would also require adding a third option to standard birth certificates, or removing assigned sex from the certificates, which reactionary chuds would throw a fit over.