Why are parents so desperate to track their kids? Don’t they trust them?
We had a problem with our oldest not coming home on time. So we asked them, and they didn’t have a way to keep track of time. So we got them a cheap Casio and the problem is solved. They love the watch, and independence, and trust.
When we give our kids a phone, it won’t have any restrictions, because it means we trust them. We don’t, so we’re holding off. I’m unwilling to spy on them, so they’ll get a phone when I trust them without filters.
You seem like a great parent! I’m personally leaning towards giving them dumb phones once they have to take public transport to school, for the convenience of them being able to inform me when they miss the bus or want to have lunch at a friend’s. But who knows if or when I’ll even have kids, lol. Maybe things will change in that time.
I’m already teaching mine to hide his tracks better, to only steal from companies if you have to and can get away with it, not neighbors or your avg person who worked hard for their stuff.
Kids need trust. They don’t mature without room to fuck up or succeed
I trust my kids. I don’t trust random weirdos that hang around schools though
What are you worried those “random weirdos” are going to do? I also haven’t seen those weirdos that you claim are so ubiquitous, the people who hang around schools are kids who go there.
A “random weirdo” doesn’t want anything to do with your kids. If you look at the stats, the vast majority of crimes against children are from family members or close friends, as in, the people who would be texting your child on their phone/watch.
I also haven’t seen those weirdos that you claim are so ubiquitous, the people who hang around schools are kids who go there.
Well look at you, Mr. Anecdote!
Now I’m worried that you think my kids go to the same school as your kids. Or City. Or Country. Hell, even continent
If I was legitimately worried about wierdos hanging around my kids’ school, I’d move them to a different school. Giving them a phone or smart watch won’t fix that problem.
I get that but most people can’t just move to a better neighborhood.
There is a fake moral panic about kidnapping or whatever, but some schools really are not as safe as others unfortunately, or are in more dangerous areas. People aren’t usually targeting kids but they might get caught in the crossfire :/
Sure, I absolutely get that. I just don’t think there’s as big of an intersection between people who give their kids smartphones and smart watches and people who live in crappy areas as there is with helicopter suburban parents. I also don’t see phones and smart watches as safety devices, at least for kids under 14 or so (that’s when they go out on their own more).
The manufacturers of these devices lean hard into FUD targeted mostly at mostly at those who with means, as in lower middle class and up. That same group is plagued with depression and suicide, and I think the proliferation of these devices is a big part of the problem. If you don’t have the latest gadget or aren’t on the popular SM app 24/7, you’re “left out.” But itf you are, there’s a good chance you’ll be cyber-bullied or even targeted by criminals.
So that’s why I reject the premise. In the majority of cases, smart phones and watches don’t make you safer, they arguably increase risk, and they’re expensive to boot.
Instead of opening my kids up to that, I prefer to be the “bad guy” and say no until my kids earn that privilege. And they earn it by showing that they’ll come to us with problems, because that’ll be necessary when they run into problems on these devices. If they haven’t earned my trust, they can borrow a loaner phone when they need it.
The safety thing is just an excuse. The vast majority of people could move if they needed to, just look at first generation immigrants living on nothing just to afford rent in a good school district so their kids can have a better future than them. Those were my friends growing up.
We hard disagree on that last point. Some people can’t move for various reasons.
I grew up without a phone, so I get the benefits of learning to be independent. I also got myself a Google voice number at a young age so I wouldn’t be left out of friend groups because of not having a phone. It really is ostracizing, and back then it wasn’t as bad as it is today.
I also think the safety concerns are way overblown and what some parents really want is to know their kids’ locations at all times and be able to talk to them at all times. I’m not a parent so I can’t judge, but that’s not how I grew up, and I’m not sure it’s good for kids or parents to be that connected.
Well I certainly understand the pros of this but is training your kid to have a dopamine response everytime a notification comes in and buzzes their arm is dangerous, no? It’s like training the kid to always want that feeling for the rest of their life
Children’s smartwatches are a stripped-down version of a typical smartwatch, and they allow parents to restrict app downloads, usage and calls from an approved list of contacts.
All of that you can do with a phone too. I do admit thought the argument of not losing it as easily since its on your arm makes sense.
I think you’re far less likely to spend a lot of screen time on a watch, hence the article
If you restrict the crap out of the phones so there is not much interesting to do for kids, it will have similar effects. E.g. they complain about YouTube on their kids phones, block it. Complain about games, don’t let them install them.
I’m sure, but a watch is 1000% more convenient if you don’t need any normal smart phone functionality (social media, games, internet access, media player, etc…). Its simpler to not have the option to use those features at all than to blacklist everything.
On top of that, it’s less likely to get lost or dropped/damaged like a flip phone. Probably has better battery life too. For small form-factor messaging + GPS its the most functional package.
This has been so good for me and my kid. If they are out and feel like they need adult help, we are a watch tap away. If they want to come home early from a friend’s house, send me a code and I’m there. If they want to go to their friend’s house after school, I’m a text away.
We have a no phone until you’re 13 rule so while the watch is a stripped down phone, it’s not a phone so easy for us all to understand, plus it’s already stripped down, no hassle no fuss.
What a weird rule. You are intentionally destroying your kid’s social, developmental, and interpersonal opportunities because you’re unwilling to actually put in the time to parent.
The least you could do is give them a dumb phone, so they are ostracized less. Or better yet, actually teach and parent them how to use a phone, and then give them a phone with locked down permissions to block tiktok/etc that are actually problematic, while still allowing them access to things that allow them to relate to friends and their community. Trust but verify.
They are parenting. This is what parenting looks like. You don’t just give them everything they want. Sure, you can also choose to give them a phone, and you can choose to lock it down. You can also choose to give them nothing. Parenting is about making those decisions for your child. It isn’t about listening to random people tell you stupid things online who act like they’re more knowledgeable about your situation.
Well you clearly don’t have kids, and if you do, you sound like the shitty parent lol
What an odd, incorrect assumption. Kids need to be able to socialize. This isn’t the 1980s anymore, you can’t just go to a mall, there are very few physical third spaces anymore, literally none in some locations.
For a lot of kids, those third spaces are via phone/online. I can absolutely understand wanting to limit exposure to bad influences of phones, that IS good parenting, but you need to offer alternatives, or managed use, or something, or you’re socially isolating your kid. Worst case scenario, you’re getting them bullied- kids can be cruel (though from what I’ve seen, not as much as they used to be, thankfully).
The person literally said in another comment:
Yes, it’s part of set them up to succeed not fail. And another part of it is I want them to have a clean break from the outside world, from friendship drama or clinginess, from school stuff, etc.
Now, I’m assuming this is partially a situation of english not being the first language, from some of the grammar, but wanting to have their kids be ‘cleanly’ broken away from friendships, school stuff, and the very outside world sounds… look, I’m going to be frank here, their literal goal seems to be socially stunting their kid via helicoptering.
Kids need to learn who they are. You’re not trying to raise someone to be a child, you’re trying to raise someone to be a healthy, functioning adult, and part of that means going through friendships, even friendship drama, exploring the outside world, etc etc.
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A good point, but I’ll note that most socialization for kids these days doesn’t necessarily happen at a singular friend’s house- it’s typically in a private chat/channel/group/etc online.
Under 12?
For better or worse, yes. (Probably worse, but this is the world we have to deal with…)
13? How many of their friends have phones because I would assume their using phones, just not one you gave them and I know from experience other parents do not do the most basic of filtering in their kids devices.
I’m pretty sure the goal behind the no phone rule is not that utilizing a phone is inherently bad, but that you’re trying to avoid building the habits and behavior that comes with having a smart phone on you, like doom scrolling, constant social media access, constant distraction etc. And in that case, the kid having some limited access to other kids phones (If they even do. Who among any of us just lets someone else use our phone unrestricted) isn’t going to undermine that effort.
Yes there are a multitude of reasons, not least that filtering only does so much and constant surveillance is unrealistic.
The raise your child to use a device appropriately. Waiting until they are a teenager is far too late to form the appropriate habits around self limiting screen time.
I get that no one wants to blame the device but this is clearly a parenting issue and I say this as someone who has on average raised far more children than anyone in my generation.
But go ahead and lean into the articles that blame on the evil algorithms and the evil corporations. Personal and parental responsibility is hard anx blaming outside influences is easy.
Raise your children or someone else will do it for you.
But they are raising their children.
Without a phone.
The algorithms have been proven to be addictive. Do you really think Facebook is your friend? You are their product, not their consumer.
Waiting until they are a teenager is far too late to form the appropriate habits around self limiting screen time.
Given that smartphones didn’t even exist until I was a teenager, going to go ahead and call bullshit on that.
this is clearly a parenting issue
Sure is. Too many parents handing their developing children smartphones long before they should. Luckily OP hasn’t made that mistake.
And nobody needs articles to tell them the corporations and algorithms are evil. Some of us are old enough to have lived through the advent of them.
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For what it’s worth I’m 28 and I agree with them. Being able to communicate online was the only thing that kept me alive through my teen years and if anything I needed more quality social opportunities online not less.
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20 years ago I was eight, I am thinking more of when I was 15. So we’re talking 10 years ago not 20
I’m sure it works in theory but wearing that for however long sounds a bit much. Now, is it a good idea? That’s a whole another can of worms.
Reasonable point, but people have worn watches all day for centuries. Just clean then and rotate wrists.
Something that big and heavy on a kid’s arm is going to get uncomfortable after like ten minutes.
One watch, the Garmin Bounce, weights 37.2 g. https://www.garmin.com/en-US/p/714945#specs
Hardly heavy.
I have a Pixel Watch that’s about that size (36g IIRC), and I don’t like wearing it, and I’m a grown adult.
I got my kids cheap Casios, and they’re like 20g. Way better.
I stopped smoking cigarettes. I’ve moved on to cigars.
I mean you say that as a joke but cigars you don’t usually inhale into your lungs. Like you’re still at risk of mouth cancer, but if you switched from Cigarettes to cigars, you wouldn’t suffer the myriad of negative health effects that comes with being a cigarette smoker which would objectively be a huge improvement.
They still make flip phones that aren’t “smart”
Yes but kids are less likely to lose watches.
Gotta make sure they have an
ankle monitorsmart watch!A smartwatch seems like an interesting way to keep in touch with your kid/keep track of them. I guess it could be abused like anything else though.
Why do you need to keep track of your kid? Are you ever in a situation where you don’t know exactly where they are and for some reason need to?
My kids know where they can go, when they need to check in, and what time they need to be home. They know my phone number and can call me using a trusted adult’s phone. It’s really not an issue.
I’ll reply to you once, because i feel it needs to be said.
Other people, have other lives, in other places, with different kids. That gives them a different situation to yours. The fact that you and yours can/can’t do a thing doesn’t mean others can/cant.
Thank you
Bruh I don’t even have a kid yet. Also, this could be for peace of mind if the kid is in a position where they can’t ask for help from someone else.
When you do, I hope your opinion changes because:
- A kid should never be in that position
- If they are, a phone isn’t going to help
- There’s a decent chance the phone got them into that situation (e.g. chatting with predators online)
So I reject the premise. If a kid isn’t safe without a phone, adding a phone won’t make them more safe.
My nephew has one and I kind of love getting random “have you seen cheetozard” messages from him.
What is that lol
That’s amazing. I want to have that kind of relationship with my future kids/nieces/nephews.
My kid’s been walking to/from school and roaming the neighborhood since he was 7. Apple Watch FTW. It has its legit uses.
“I’m going to strap a $700 watch to this $15K bag of organs, as a tip”
Really moronic take.
Somebody doesn’t have a sense of humor it seems
Sure, normalizing paranoia is very funny and definitely doesn’t have any real world negative consequences. Har-de-har-har.
You’re joking, obtusely, about abduction and murder of children. You expect people to be amused?
Black comedy/gallows humor is a thing.
You don’t need to be so uptight. Nobody’s actually advocating for the murder of children here.
This is the internet. Some people will. Probably a lot. Do you expect everybody to have your exact same sensibles and kind of humor?
