So I’ve been thinking about how unhinged I’ve been over the past several months around employment and society, and I’m wondering if I’m having a trauma reaction from all the bad times I’ve had with employment.
I’ve been fired from I’d say half the jobs I’ve ever had. In my chosen field and trained field, I have never once had a job I looked forward to going to. My last job experience was really, really, horrible, despite having an advanced degree and a language skill, I was kept making coffee because I didn’t cajole and get along with the power structure and made the mistake of publically criticizing.
It’s hard for me to even write about without getting upset, yet, if I want to make a living, I have to keep applying to these jobs for which I keep bombing the interview, for which, if I ever get the job, I will probably have to deal with unethical egotistical backstabbing morons every day until I get fired or rage quit (like the last job).
In the meantime, I can’t go to therapy, because therapy is the field I’m in and I’d estimate the percentage of therapists who can actually talk to me without immediately getting defensive is about 1%, which throws me back to the Daniel Mackler quote, “It is easier to become a good therapist than to find one,” which leads me here because I’m wondering what:
a) experiences y’all have had for autistic burnout and
b) anything you tried to help you through it and
c) any resources you’d find helpful.
I also think that I’m sour on employment specifically because it is basically the ony time I’m forced to interact with people on a regular basis, which makes me think autism might be the key to this current trauma. I’ve tried socializing in meetups and other venues, and it always fizzled, but it never ends horribly the way work does.



It took me a while to be able to verbalize this but once I did it made my internal repulsion make so much more sense. Why yes, I could make just as much money, working less, by being a consultant. But I’d have to be constantly selling myself, on top of not knowing where next month’s rent was coming from. In what universe am I supposed to find that appealing???
If you have stable customers and a good reremovedtion, that’s probably more reliable than employment these days.
Of course, insurance and taxes will fuck you over.